Redefining moments

The past week I have found myself in my own personal quagmire. As I continue my journey to better health and fitness, I have my ups and downs. Last week was a roller coaster for me. I started off my week going to boot camp as I always do. Monday held the dreaded 1/2 mile. Now I know a half mile doesn't sound like much and your right if you are taking a leisurely stroll. However we are trained to push ourselves to try harder and strive for more. Remember I am only recently a former 300 lb man. Actually I am down 23.8 lbs but I'll get to that. In the past I have run this gauntlet in 7 plus minutes. This past time however unknowingly to me I was about to take this challenge and obliterate my previous time. I took off 1 minute and 55 seconds. Nearly 2 minutes in a month. I felt great and could hardly go. I could barely finish the rest of the workout. I had  flashback to my first night, and I immediately started to feel angry and I pushed, and with the help of my fellow boot campers, and a trainer "who I felt like knew all this was going to happen before I did" I made it through and didn't get too worked up. I still hate feeling that way though. I hate feeling like I can't do it, because then my mind says well just quit and then I have to work twice as hard because I am fighting my body and my mind.  I was so shocked by my own achievement I forced myself to do it again later in the week to prove it wasn't a fluke. It wasn't! 

Here's where it get mucky. I had made this achievement but fear began to creep in.  My thoughts included: You'll never be able to do that again. You won't be able to beat that. It's not going to get any better for you. You are not a runner. While the thought of quitting was never entertained, fear crept in. All of those thought entered my head over and over. I have had to come back and check myself reminding myself I have no idea what I can do because I have never done it.  I am not failing until I stop trying. And I never thought I could do some of what I have already done. So now I have a new goal, a goal that is not weight related. 1: I will do the 1/2 mile without walking. 2: I will do it in less than 5 minutes. 

I still struggle with food at times. I love to eat and love to cook. Food is comforting. But so far I have managed to continue losing with a few spots where I plateau mostly because I ceased being mindful of what and how I ate. Hopefully I can hit the 25 lb mark this week. We'll see. It is very doable but will require dedication.

I hope to be able to enjoy this holiday weekend with no weight gain and a continual loss. In order to accomplish this I need to discipline myself. There is no throwing caution to the wind and eating what I want. I can still enjoy my favorite but with DISCIPLINE. My goal is also to make it through the holiday weekend without any soda. I do pretty well with this most days but holidays are rough. Right now if I am going to drink my calories I prefer a more adult form anyway. But RESPONSIBLY!

Back again! or Hey there!

Hi all,

I am inviting you all here to join me on this crazy ride called life. I think of this venture in blogging as having a virtual front porch, or living room if you will, where we can sit down and just have a chat. True to real life I'll probably do most of the talking but look forward to sharing my experiences with you.

When I created this blog spot several years ago the name was very literal. I was a fatman who wanted to start running. Well my concept has sort of evolved. I am, as of now, still a fatman. But running is no longer strictly literal. I want to share about life in general. running this race of life. Let me share a little about myself.

My name is Cory. I am a 30 year old father of 2. A two year old handful, Ben, and my second son is 4 months as of this week, Adam.  I am married to a patient and loving woman Heather. I love the outdoors, animals, science fiction, and many more things you'll likely hear about in this journey. I am a christian man, actively attending church, and participating in our young adult group, and I make no apologies for my beliefs. It is a part of who I am. I am kind, loving and gentle.

During the day I am an addictions counselor. I work with persons struggling with the disease of addiction and alcoholism. This is often stressful and rewarding all in the same moment. My job is not physical, but it is mental and emotional. A client once described me as a giant teddy bear, big enough to scare away the bad stuff, and soft enough to comfort. I take great pride in that description.

Sometimes I may talk about my struggles to live healthier.

Sometimes I may talk about my struggles to be a good dad.

Sometimes I may talk about struggles being a christian man in today world.

Sometimes I may talk about the struggles being a good husband.

You'll have to just keep checking back to see where I am at today.

Writing provides accountability and lets me share. Something I need, and something I love. Welcome to my life. This blog is not a tell all, there are parts of my life that are private.

Thanks for stopping by,
Cory

disclaimer - there will be typos, I am working on it.

Spring has Sprung.

Spring has sprung and it is time for new beginnings. In order for a new beginning there must an end to an old one. Something must stop, something must go away. Well I'm thinking it is time for part of me to go away, specifically MANY unwanted and unhealthy pounds.

I have made a decision to give Boot Camp a try. No I'm not joining the military but I am going to join what seems like an army of people who are changing their lives in some drastic ways. Losing unwanted weight, becoming healthier, looking better, and feeling better about themselves.

Last night a met the man behind the whole thing. I don't know if I have met somebody who is as excited about what he does in a long while. It felt like he cared if I succeeded. Working with patients all of the time I know the initial report is important. I trust him. I was met with no judgement. I do that to myself often. expect judgement when there is none there. The truth is I am the one unhappy with my weight. I am the one unhappy with not being able to keep up with my 2 year old son. I am unhappy with tighter pants, and popping buttons. Having to buy long or tall shirts not because I am THAT tall but because they are what covers that big UGLY gut.

Next week it starts. Hopefully the beginning of the end. Mondays and Wednesdays 4:30 to 5:30 I'm boot camping. In addition to the what will be the introduction of intentional exercise into my routine I have started watching my calories. With my recent movement into the world of smart phones. I have downloaded this handy little app called lose it!. Interestingly enough I am allowed to have a MINIMUM of 2565 calories. In tracking so far I can manage that. I eat that much and I am not hungry.

Thanks for stopping by!
Cory